The Discipline of Restraint: Why 'All or Nothing' Doesn't Work

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope 2019 was as good to you as it was to me. And I also hope you’re looking forward to an even better 2020. It’s not just the start of a new year, but an entire new DECADE! What a great time to evaluate our lives and examine the challenges, opportunities and blessings we’ve been granted over the past 10 years, and think about where we want to be in the next 10. 

In all our zeal to push hard with lofty goals into the next year(s), we can get tempted to bite off more than we can chew. It almost seems like human nature to ‘go big’. We’ve all seen those who post audacious goals all over social media that seem to be a stretch even for the most disciplined of people. And this phenomenon certainly isn’t limited to New Year’s resolutions. 

I see this ALL THE TIME in coaching amateur athletes and training goal-driven weekend warriors. The mentality of ‘more is better’ and ‘all or nothing’ can be an alluring prospect to reach goals sooner. For example, many think  “if I run faster on all of my runs, I’ll become faster.” or “Instead of working out in the gym 3 days a week, I’m going to workout 7.” or “Instead of simply limiting my carbohydrate intake, I’m cutting out carbs altogether.” And while these goals take enormous discipline to accomplish (and you may even have that in spades), the most important type of discipline I see lacking in most people is the discipline of restraint. And THIS is the key to achieving many challenging goals we set for ourselves. 

While the ‘all or nothing, more is better’ approach may be good to do in the short term, there are a few inherent challenges with this philosophy: 

1. For 99% of people, this is simply not sustainable. In other words, you are setting yourself up for failure. I’ve talked about this many times before in many different settings; with athletes in contemplating race strategy, or with runners discussing why we include long, easy purely aerobic runs in our training, or with fitness clients who are trying to refocus on healthy eating. We want to always identify strategies that allow us to be successful because success breeds success! That doesn't mean making creme-puff goals just so we can knock them out of the park, but it does mean taking a sensible approach to goal setting. Being disciplined and having restraint will ensure your process to achieve your goals is sustainable. 
2. It’s simply not healthy. In all respects of the word. Look at the training schedule any elite athlete in ANY sport and you’ll see there are both easy and hard days. Going all-out may show dividends in the short term, but in the long term it gets you hurt. Runners know this all too well when they try to build volume and/or speed too quickly by going hard too much too soon. And this principle doesn’t just hold true in athletics and fitness, but in all areas of life. We need restraint. We need balance. Imagine if you worked at the office 15 hours a day, day after day, week after week, with no breaks. Can you imagine the toll that would take on your relationships? Your mental and emotional health? Your physical health? 
3. This is actually a longer, harder road. By using the “more is better, all or nothing” approach, most people struggle for the main reasons already discussed and a host of more. What ends up happening is that the path to reach their goals becomes much longer. For example, if a runner in a marathon decides to ‘just go for it’ from the gun, to push hard and just hang on, going faster than he’s able, he may see a fast time through the halfway mark, or even up to mile 18 or so. But inevitably his body will not be able to sustain the effort and they will end up struggling, shuffling, or even walking the last 6-8 miles. Watch any marathon and you’ll see just that! If the runner had pulled back and just had the discipline to restrain himself throughout the first ⅔ of the course he would have had the energy to finish strong and meet the goal time. Again, this principle holds true for many aspects of life- especially in the health and fitness space. Take the gung-ho ‘New Year’s resolutioner’ who commits to hit the gym 7 days a week after years of only sporadic exercise. She will be so sore after the first several days that she’ll be not only physically, but emotionally and mentally beat down as well. She’ll be pushed back even further because she now must mentally and physically recover from an overzealous start to her fitness regimen. 

Again, don’t misunderstand. I’m all about setting lofty goals! Just rein them in a bit as you embark on the new goals you set for yourself this year. Avoid the pitfalls of the ‘all or nothing’ approach. More is usually NOT better. It’s just more! Remember to practice the disciple of restraint as you commit to becoming a fitter, faster version of yourself this 2020